“He that loveth his brother abideth in the light,
and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.”
(1 John 2:10)
When offenses abound, the Christian must be careful both not to give offense and not to take it. And we should not only consider whether something offends our own conscience, but whether it may potentially offend another’s. Indifference to another person’s spiritual weakness can open the door to unnecessary harm.
The opposite danger is also real. A believer may condemn those who give offense and yet fail to guard his own heart against being offended. When we allow ourselves to be easily offended, we experience anger and a desire for revenge. One sinful response can provoke another until contention between parties multiplies. Great peace belongs to those who love God’s law and refuse to make every provocation an occasion for spiritual stumbling.[1]
Pride and rash judgment greatly increase the opportunities for such evils. But love will restrain contempt on one side and suspicion on the other. Where brotherly love abounds, offenses that otherwise divide Christians lose their power.
Needless disputing is another great source of stumbling. Not every question that can be debated ought to be. Such contentions often give rise to pride and harm rather than zeal, and in the end only hinder the weak, grieve the strong, and obstruct edification.
Instead, Christians should give greater attention to the necessary and substantial matters of godliness. Faith, repentance, prayer, communion with God, righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost must not be displaced by excessive zeal over circumstantial questions. The kingdom of God does not thrive on disputed arguments, but in those spiritual realities that support and promote the power of godliness.
Christians should follow those things that make for peace and by which we may edify one another. And when offense does occur, the offended should lovingly forgive and admonish the offender, while the one who has given offense should be willing to do what is necessary to make restitution. Restoration rather than personal victory should always be the aim.
Pride, stubbornness, and self-will continually feed contention, while a loving and gentle spirit removes its fuel. And those who are strong in the faith have the greater responsibility to exercise patience and forbearance toward those who are weaker.
Contemplations:
- Make Me Tender Toward Another’s Conscience. Do not let me measure every action only by what I can lawfully do. Make me aware and concerned for what may wound, confuse, or weaken another believer. Keep me from dismissing someone’s stumbling just because I possess greater clarity. And if something indifferent to me becomes spiritually harmful to another, give me grace to deny myself rather than insist upon liberty.
- Keep Me from Turning Another’s Fault into My Sin. When someone offends me, keep me from responding badly. Do not let another person’s failure make me cold, bitter, judgmental, or vengeful. Give me peace in Your law and enough self-control to break the cycle by which one sinful response produces another. Let my reaction be governed by holiness rather than irritation.
- Deliver Me from the Pride of Being Right. Clarity can become an occasion for contempt, and uncertainty can cause a rash judgment. Keep me from both. If I am stronger in understanding, make me gentler, not harsher. If I am weaker or less clear, keep me from condemning another simply because I cannot follow him. Let love govern how I interpret the actions of my fellow believers.
- Fix My Mind on What Builds Up. Keep me from becoming consumed with doubtful, secondary, or needless disputes. Give me greater zeal for faith, repentance, prayer, communion with You, righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. Make me value edification above the satisfaction of winning an argument. Let peace and holiness weigh more heavily than self-assertion, and make Your glory—not my reputation—the ruling end of every discussion.
Prayer (Supplication):
Lord, give me the grace to walk in love when offenses abound.
Make me careful not to wound the conscience of another and keep me from thinking only of what I am free to do. Give me tenderness toward the weak, patience toward the doubtful, and willingness to deny myself where love requires it.
Guard me also from taking offense sinfully. When others fail, do not let their sin become the occasion of my own. Preserve me from bitterness, rash judgment, contempt, revenge, and the impulse to answer one offense with another.
Deliver me from pride in disputed matters. If I have greater clarity, make me more loving, patient, and gentle. If I lack clarity, keep me from condemning those who differ where Scripture allows liberty.
Restrain me from needless controversy. Keep me from stirring debates that hinder edification and grieve believers. Fix my attention on the significant matters of godliness—faith, repentance, prayer, communion with You, righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
When offense has truly been given, teach me to seek its removal in the order Christ has appointed. Give me courage to admonish in love, humility to receive admonition, and willingness to restore peace.
Search my motives. And let Your glory be my governing end.
In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Further Scripture References:
1 John 3:14; 1 John 2:11; Matt. 18:7; Rom. 14:13
[1] James Durham, The Dying Man’s Testament to the Church of Scotland, Or, A Treatise Concerning Scandal Divided into Four Parts, (Edinburgh: Christopher Higgins .., 1659), 40-49.
